About 7 years ago I walked into an apartment full of 12 dray queens without even knocking and said, "Alright...Who wants to get fucked?" I was called a tease when I told them I was straight. I wore women's underwear to work and showed a friend of mine my "panty line"

I bought "Meet the parents" and after watching that piece of shit, I took it out and punched it into a pile of little, sharp plastic scrap that cut up my knuckles, so when someone would ask me, "what happened to your hand"

I would say "watch Meet the parents and find out."

I got really trashed on three bottles of HotDamn at some party and made out with some guy named Beau. (I turn into a whore when I am drunk, shoot! I don't care if your a man or a woman...that's why I don't get that drunk anymore. Well, that and thanks to Lexapro I can't drink no more dangit!)

And to end this with something completely off the subject.

I found out what I really want for christmas, and here it is!